I often get asked to help the other partner to write their personal vows so I thought I’d prepare some notes. Writing your own wedding vows is a beautiful way to personalise your ceremony and make it even more meaningful. Here are some tips to help you write vows that are heartfelt and memorable:
1. Reflect on Your Relationship
Think about the journey you’ve shared with your partner: How and where did you meet? What were your initial thoughts? What are some of the most significant moments you’ve shared? What are the qualities you admire most in each other?
Reflect on the promises you want to make for your future together.
2. Be Authentic
Speak from the heart. Don’t worry about being overly poetic or formal. The best vows are genuine and true to your relationship and personalities.
You can include humour if that feels natural, but keep it respectful and meaningful.
3. Make Promises
Wedding vows are essentially promises you’re making to each other. Think about the key promises that are meaningful to you both, such as being supportive, loyal, patient, adventurous, or always communicating openly.
Be specific: Instead of just saying "I promise to love you," think about how you'll love them, like "I promise to always choose kindness and patience, even when life gets tough."
4. Use Personal Stories or Memories
You can consider including personal anecdotes can make your vows feel more intimate. Maybe share a moment that made you realise you wanted to spend your life together or a quality that you love about your partner.
5. Stay Focused on the Future
While reflecting on the past is important, focus on what you’re promising for the future. This is about the life you’re building together.
6. Keep It Short and Sweet
Aim for a length that feels natural. You don’t have to write a novel! Short, heartfelt vows can have a huge impact.
7. Practice, but Keep It Real
Once you’ve written your vows, read them aloud. Practice, but don’t over-rehearse. You want to sound natural and from the heart, not robotic.
Make sure you send them to your celebrant (me!) so that I can have them on the day incase you forget your copy.
8. Consult Your Partner (If You're Comfortable)
Some couples like to share their vows with each other before the ceremony. If that feels right, it might be nice to discuss the tone and general themes so you’re both on the same page.
And remember - Avoid the Pressure of Perfection
Vows don’t have to be perfect! The fact that you wrote them yourself already adds a personal touch. Speak from the heart, and don’t stress over making them flawless.\
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